This week we started looking at those games in our lives that we need to say, “Game over” to. What’s your end game? What do you want out of life? If you’re playing one of these games, then you’ll have a hard time getting it. You have to End Game to the things that are causing you grief and set new patterns that lead to grace.
Blame is when you put someone else’s name on your pain. It’s when you face a difficult circumstance in life and look at everyone else, waiting for them to fix it, waiting for them to accept responsibility, waiting for them to jump in and say, “Yes, everything that is wrong with you is because of someone else’s decision and not your own.”
Whatever’s wrong in your life that you choose to place blame on someone else for will keep you locked in a negative pattern. Whatever it is and whoever you blame. Maybe you blame your spouse, your boss, your brother or your kids. Maybe your mother-in-law, the next door neighbor, or your dog. It may be the media’s fault, the government’s fault, or some conspiracy theory you heard on YouTube! Whatever and whoever it is, they are getting the full brunt of your blame.
I’ve heard so many times from so many people who go through a divorce and then find out the truth later. During that process, there’s plenty of blame to cast around. They’ve got their hands full of blame and their arms are working overtime taking it out on their ex. Then, after they find a new spouse and get remarried, they find the same problem! Turns out the truth was staring them in the face the whole time. They had a share in the blame they were throwing out.
When we play games, they should be fun, right? So why is the Blame Game never fun? Why does it never feel like there’s a winner? When is the game over? Never!
Not until we stop the negative pattern of blame and start making new patterns. And that takes having spiritual eyes and a transformed mind.
This week we talked about how to do that. And I gave you four steps, just like the four corners of that Rubik’s Cube that seems so hard to solve until you know the pattern. But the pattern makes all the difference! Once you set new patterns with spiritual eyes and a transformed mind, you can End Game on blame.
Those four steps that set a new pattern? Look, Listen, Live, Learn. Now, let me add some real practical stuff to each step, too.
Take some time alone and really look at the situation. Don’t just look real quick and assume you know what’s going on. Spend time in God’s presence to get to the heart of the matter.
Now, ask God to show you your role in the situation. What did you do wrong? What is your share of the blame? How can you avoid the same mistake again?
Let go of your attachment to the problem and live your life! Don’t let someone else’s mistakes cause you heartache anymore. Take charge and live each day to the glory of God.
Find the lesson that can be learned from your experiences. Yes, they may be very, very bad. But even in the worst cases you can find good things to make you better.
My prayer is that we can all finally put an end to the Blame Game. Next week, we’re going to go even deeper and look at what happens we turn that blame in on ourselves and play the Shame Game.